If We’re Being Honest, Maybe It’s Not a Mid-Life Crisis

Rediscovering myself at 40 and shedding what no longer fits.

Maybe it’s not a crisis at all. Maybe turning 40 feels like shedding a skin I’ve outgrown—one I’ve been itching to leave behind for years. For the past two years, I’ve felt it creeping up on me: this quiet, desperate need to let go of who I’ve been and rediscover who I am—or maybe who I’ve always been meant to be.

If we’re being honest, I don’t know exactly what I’m doing here on Substack, but I do know this: I’m happy to be here.

Let me back up.

I’ve been known in these internet streets as the woman who writes about all things dating, relationships, and healing. My words have reached women who’ve been where I’ve been—heartbroken, exhausted, or searching for themselves in the rubble of a relationship that wasn’t meant for them. And I loved that for so long. I was The Crimson Kiss on Instagram, writing my way through the maze of my own emotions and helping others navigate theirs. For years, that title felt right. It was fiery, passionate, and bold—exactly what I needed to be at the time.

Then, around two years ago, I felt it shift.

I tried to rebrand, to become someone else. Sis, Get Your Ish Together was born—not just a name, but a podcast, a call to action for women ready to step into their power. It was down-to-earth, cheeky, and unapologetically honest, and it gave me space to speak about healing in ways that felt fresh. But here’s the thing: you can rebrand all you want, but you can’t outrun yourself.

Even then, I felt like I was trying to fit into a space I’d already outgrown.

It’s not that I don’t care about dating, relationships, or healing anymore—I do, deeply. Those things will always matter to me, and I’ll always have something to say about them. But I’m not just that woman anymore. I’m no longer writing from the same place of heartbreak, or even the same place of healing. I’ve grown up, and maybe it’s okay for my work to grow up with me.

Maybe The Crimson Kiss and Sis, Get Your Ish Together don’t fit me anymore. Maybe they were never meant to stay forever—they were just stepping stones to bring me here.

Here to Substack. Here to this new space where I don’t have to know exactly what I’m doing, but I can keep peeling back the layers. I can write about the things that move me now, not just the things that shaped me then.

If we’re being honest, maybe mid-life crises aren’t crises at all. Maybe they’re just rediscovery—becoming more of who you are, who you were always meant to be.

So here I am, 40 around the corner, no clue what the hell I’m doing—but ready to write my way through it, and happy you’re here with me.

Let’s figure it out together, shall we?

XO,

B